And now, let's get personal.

Today, we're going to chat about a taboo topic.  ::GASP::

Miscarriage and pregnancy loss. 

As you know (or will know if you read back a few posts) this is a subject kind of personal to me, seeing as how I'm just coming off a miscarriage of my own.  While my family and friends were supportive and amazing, I still felt kind of alone.  Why was this happening to me?  Women have healthy babies every day.  Why me?  Why am I such a freak that I can't carry a baby?  Then I did some research.

According to The American Pregnancy Association, here's some stats on m/c and pregnancy loss:

There are approximately 6 million pregnancies every year throughout the United States:

4,058,000 live births
1,995,840 pregnancy losses

Wait what?  1,995,840 pregnancy losses??  That's right.  This is a common occurance, as sad as it is.  Why don't you hear more about it? 

I understand that the road to a baby is a very private, personal journey.  But what about when there's a bump - or a roadblock, minor detour, or the whole stinking road just got ripped up? 

There are awareness walks and events for all forms of cancer, for MS, for all manner of other diseases.  As well there should be.  But what about infertility, miscarriage, and pregnancy loss?  Where's the awareness for that?  It happens, and it sucks.  A lot.   There is an organization that is trying to bring infertility more into the spotlight.  Resolve is the National Infertility Association.  It's a great resource if you or someone you know are dealing with infertility.

Now that I've said all that, let me be clear...THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD GO ASK SOMEONE ABOUT THEIR REPRODUCTIVE PLANS.  Ever.  Unless a woman is physically giving birth in front of you at that moment, do not ask if she is - or when she plans to become - pregnant.   Just don't do it.  While yes, the subject of infertility and pregnancy loss as a whole shouldn't be taboo, a person's journey is none of your business until they bring it up.  That couple you ask when they're going to have kids could have just been to the doctor for her D&C after a missed m/c.  That woman you ask if she wants to have kids could be going though infertility treatments because she can't get pregnant.  I can tell you from personal experience that when people ask your plans for children when it's all you want out of life but just can't get pregnant, it rips your heart out.   

So please, be available if one of your friends or family comes to you for support.  Do research on helping someone through their rough time.  Look up helpful things to say/do.  Look up what not to say/do.  Don't be afraid to ask more questions, once the subject has already been brought up.